Why????

NOTE: This blog was originally written in June 2010.

There are many times in our lives we ask the question why. It could be anything from a bad grade to the death of a loved one. We, as humans, try to dissect each circumstance in our lives to understand just how exactly we ended up where we are. Most of the time, we find those answers and when we do, it can be very humbling. These moments are used to aid in our growth as a person, both spiritually and physically. However, there are circumstances in our lives that creep up and blindside us and we never know why. I am sure you have had those moments, because I know I have. There is one chain of events in my life where this was the case. For those of you that know me on a personal level, you will know what I am referring to. I am sure you all have had them. The moments were your world is turned upside down and all you have left is God. If you don't know what I am talking about, then I hope you never do. Situations like that can break a person, especially if they don't have God to lean on. I woke up one day and my world as I knew it was gone. The person I loved most in this world, next to God, was gone, my "friends" turned their backs on me, and a relative of mine was diagnosed with cancer. I regard myself as a strong person, but sometimes when you are hit with enough, even the strongest will break. I was hurt and confused and all I could think is why. Why is this happening to me? Why am I going through this? Why so much? Why now? I asked these questions over and over, but I never got an answer. I just wanted someone to help me understand why these things happened to me. I got on my knees and cried out to God all the time, asking Him why? While He didn't answer me at that moment, He has answered me in time.

As I have grown in my Christian walk, He has shown me that while I didn't see it, He never took His hand off the situation. As time has progressed, I have seen Him a little at a time bring peace to the broken parts of my life. He has brought me amazing Christian true friends, who won't turn their backs on me to help themselves, and who will pray with me and be my rock when I am crumbling and I them. He healed my relative of cancer, and has performed amazing things in that person's life. He has even healed my broken heart from the loss of my love. I can never give Him enough praise for all the wonderful things He has done in my life!! But I can say, I NEVER could have made it through without the Lord. But, even though He has mended the broken pieces, I never really got my reason why until this weekend. I don't know why He waited so long to reveal to me why these things happened, but I am thankful that He tarried because I have a greater appreciation for the path I had to take to get here.

Earlier this week, it was laid urgently upon my heart to pray for someone. As the week progressed, small pieces were revealed to me as to what I was praying for. However, the full extent of the prayer request was not revealed to me until this weekend when I saw this person face to face. I told him that the Lord had laid it on my heart to pray for him and he proceeded to tell me why he believed that was so. As he continued talking, I realized that he was experiencing the exact same trials in his life now, that I had experienced before. I knew then the reason God had tarried in answering my question of why. The reason why I went through these things was to be able to help him now that he is going through the same things. If the answer had been revealed to me sooner, I wouldn't have been able to appreciate the awesomeness of that moment. The moment to be able to say "I know how you feel" and see the peace that came with that. Words can not describe what I am feeling now. I believe that God used this moment to help me minister to my friend, but also allowed him to minister to me. I know that a soulful bond has been made and I will be forever grateful to the Lord for bringing him into my life. This weekend, for me, was one of many life-changing experiences that I will cherish. So next time you are faced with a trial and you ask why, don't get discouraged when the Lord doesn't answer right away. He is just waiting for the perfect moment to show his awesomeness!!